(Written for Beamly)
Over half way into the latest series of The Apprentice, and we’re still laughing at Lord Sugar’s abrupt firings, one-liners, and ruthless put-downs. Here’s nine of my favourite Lord Sugar quotes from over the years.
1. “You didn’t like it when you got a B in your French exam. You’re not gonna like it now, because you’ve got the big F – you’re fired!”
2. “If you nod your head any longer I’m going to put you on the back seat of my bloody car.”
3. “It’s sink or swim, and you’ve most probably picked up by now that I don’t do life jackets.”
4. “Fair? The only fair you’re gonna get is your bloody train fare home.”
5. “You said on your résumé – ‘I’m Lord Sugar’s dream’. With the greatest of respect you’ve been a bit of a nightmare, and for that reason – You’re Fired!”
6. “I hear your enthusiasm, you know? Great enthusiasm. A fly’s got enthusiasm but it doesn’t stop headbutting the window!”
7. “I have an imaginary remote control in my hand – and you’re on pause.”
8. “You remind me of the final scene from the Wizard of Oz, you look very impressive, but in my opinion, behind the curtains there’s nothing there. You’re fired!”
9. “My c*** and b******* stretch from Tower Bridge right up to Westminster. There’s going to be a big firework display there tonight. Enjoy the views. ”
Of course this isn’t a real quote, but if you haven’t already then you need to watch this Youtube video: “Cassetteboy vs The Bloody Apprentice”. It’s a hilarious mash-up of his quotes, although not all of them genuine, obviously. (Be warned, there is a lot of swearing).
Keep up to date with the latest series of The Apprentice on Wednesday nights on BBC One, or on BBC iPlayer if you’re behind.