The Human Centipede (First Sequence), directed by Tom Six, is a film you’ve probably recently heard in conversation, possibly forgetting about it thinking, “Surely it cannot be true.” Alas, this crazed film is currently on our cinema screens. And some mad person has actually thought up its grotesque and twisted idea. A film that makes you gag at the thought of its plot, but a film that you will watch out of curiosity.

The Human Centipede is about an obscure German surgeon, whose ambition in life is to create a human centipede; a chain of people, sewn together from mouth to anus, connected by one tube running through their body. (I know what you’re thinking, and the film actually reveals how its digestive system works.) The film has a good story line. Yes, deranged, but well thought out. But because of its low-budget, the acting and effects ruin its potential; the two main girls actually become better actresses during the second half of the film when all they can do is crawl around mumbling. (I could probably do a better job, but for no amount of money would I spend an hour crawling around the floor naked in a face-to-bum conga.)

I think it’s true that if you watch the trailer, you will eventually end up watching the film. I’ve read so many critics saying, “If you enjoyed this movie, I hope we never meet.” But that’s not really the case. We, or at least the majority of us, aren’t watching this out of enjoyment! The film is like a longer version of “two girls one cup”. It’s just curiosity. And if you watch it, it’s not actually that bad. (Bad, yes. Gory, not overly.)

The thought of the film is much worse than anything you are presented with. I braced myself for moments that I thought would make me want to be sick, only to be shown a line of three people shuffling around a garden, constantly crying. The surgery is the goriest part of the film, and that’s something we see on the TV all of the time. The film just doesn’t live up to what you prepare yourself to see, so if you haven’t yet seen it, don’t fill review pages with how sick we must be to watch it. I will hide behind a pillow at someone being sick on Jackass, yet the contents of my stomach remain in place after watching this film. I’m more disturbed than anything.

Slight chances of hope and an unfortunate twist stirs the story up a little in its final 20 minutes. The ending is almost emotional. If it were in a different context, it has the making of a tear jerker! But in its blood-filled, distressing setting, all I can let out is a: “Gutted to be you!”

A sequel is currently in the making with a chain of 12 people. Though, I’m not quite sure how that’s going to work with the ending of the film. Nor do I know what else they can do with a chain of people; it seemed a little dragged out as it were, but I will probably end up watching it too. All I can ask for is some better actors and a little more gore.

As I was presented with the trailer, “This will tempt you.” And don’t take this on the chin. I spent hours after contemplating whether I could handle the film, knowing that I would have to force myself to see it.